Cannabis & motherhood: The rise of Mary Jane Mamas and the alternative to alcohol
Apr 20, 2023
Guest blog post from a member of the community.
Full disclosure. It's 9 pm, and I'm high.
Hello, I'm CJ, and I'm a mom who partakes in legal cannabis here in Toronto.
When you think of a mom smoking weed, what comes to mind? Some of you are like, "Solidarity, Sister!" and will text 420 memes (you know who you are). But there are also some who might judge this choice and assume I'm hitting the bong at 9 am with a bag of Cheetos. So all ye who judge, let me tell you why we should be friends, and maybe share some snacks.
In high school, I realized that booze was fun, but weed was better. We had more fun, more light, more connection and now I have pockets full of incredible stories, deep friendships—and an everlasting love for Cool Ranch Doritos, but I digress.
Now a mom in my 40s, I adore tequila and worship at the altar of a good cab sauv, but it's just not my jam to have booze as a part of regular weekly life. I don’t like how I feel the next day and I don’t like feeling that lack of control when I overindulge. Now, I don’t always have to have my feet on the ground, but too much booze makes me feel disconnected from everything, and I do best when I feel connected and present.
With Mary Jane, I can decide if I want to get stuff done, or zen right the F out and let the stresses of single parenthood kick rocks for a while. I stay connected, I’m in my body, I feel aware and creative. This experience doesn’t last more than a short bit, depending on what I choose to do, and I can pace out how I want my time to roll. And, of course, the next day, there’s no hangover, I’ve had a good sleep and probably an epic orgasm (that’s a post for another day), but my penchant for Mini Eggs can go unchecked, that’s my one complaint #munchies.
But, we still aren't yet at a place where cannabis is at the same level of acceptance as alcohol, or even cigarettes (arguably more gross and dangerous than cannabis), and I'm not sure what that would look like. Cannabis-infused drinks on the Milestones menu? Pre-rolls on offer at your favourite pub? The cannabis market is still very much sorting itself out; coming down from early and massive saturation and slowly levelling out as our behaviour changes. As Canadian society continues to accept this huge cultural shift to be cool with something we were told was bad—and that people went to jail for. Some of us grew up lurking around dark neighbourhoods to get bad weed as teenagers. And now I order rainbow-coloured weed pens from my phone and it comes to my door. Magic.
However, the stigma and judgement for moms who partake are even heavier. How can you be a mom who gets high sometimes and not be called a "stoner mom"? We don't have that same level of language for moms who choose alcohol, and nor should we. When folks draw judgement toward me partaking, there is an assumption that I can't manage my choices responsibly. That's the deeply entrenched rhetoric about cannabis that still follows it around, but it's really lovely to see it continue to lessen around us.
So, why should we be friends if I partake and you don't? Being a mom is an unreal experience on the daily. It comes with equal parts joy and sheer terror. We need to support each other and avoid the constant judgement and shame that comes our way. We get that easily enough from social media and beyond. When we get to the end of a day (wild or not), we both need to decompress in whatever way connects for us best. So let's eat snacks, share our motherhood war stories and remind each other that we both have clothes in the wash. I'll pour your wine if you find me matches.
Happy 420, Mamas!
xo cj
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