From the expert: How to get your picky eater to try new foods

From our 2023 scholar Jennifer House, a registered dietitian and the founder of First Step Nutrition in Calgary.

You dig to the bottom of your energy barrel to put a tasty-enough dinner on the table again tonight. Only to hear “yuck” from your kids. They won’t even touch it!

Not to mention, there’s so much conflicting advice about how to deal with picky eaters. My doctor told me to give my daughter whatever she wanted. Or maybe you’ve heard they will eat when hungry, so let them starve. Or to bribe them with dessert. What is the right thing to do?

As a dietitian and a mom of three (one former picky eater!) I want to start with the basics to help you decrease those dinnertime battles.

Figure out why your child's a picky eater

The first step is determining why your child is a fussy eater. As Kay Toomey, creator of the Sequential Oral Sensory program, says: “When children don’t eat, something is going on in their body.” Which means we have to be smart enough to figure out what that is.

Your doctor or appropriate healthcare professional can help you determine if there’s an underlying cause for picky eating, but here are some possibilities: 

1. Developmental stage: This is normal for toddlers and passes around age 5
2. Oral motor weakness: This means difficulty chewing and swallowing, especially hard textures
3. Sensory sensitivity: This is when there is over or under-responsive to one or more of the eight senses we use when eating
4. Physical pain: This could be due to reflux, food allergies, cavities or constipation
5. Nutrient deficiencies: An example would be low iron, which can cause poor appetite

Follow the division of responsibility in feeding

In Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility in Feeding, caregivers have roles in feeding, and children have roles in eating. If you keep to these roles, your children will be less likely to be picky eaters and will be more likely to have a long-term healthy relationship with food.

Here’s a quick summary of the parent’s role:

• When the child is offered food: At regular meals and snack times versus constant snacking. Otherwise, your child will be full of snacks when they come to dinner.
• Where the food is offered: At a supportive seat with a footrest at the family table, ideally with other family members.
• What food is offered to eat: Most often, balanced meals include a variety of food groups, including at least one food your child likes if they’re a picky eater. Try to avoid being a short-order cook!

Your child’s only job is to decide how much to eat of the foods you’ve offered them at meal or snack time. Without you begging, bribing or rewarding…

The vast majority of parents use pressure, which can take many different forms you may not recognize, like praise, guilt, bribes or nutrition education. Ask yourself, “Why am I saying this to my child?” If it’s to get your child to eat more or eat something that they wouldn't choose on their own, it’s pressure.

Many research studies show that higher pressure to eat leads to lower levels of child intake and weight and higher levels of pickiness. So, pressure totally backfires. And makes meals unpleasant for everyone. Stopping the pressure takes practise, but it’s worth it!

Play with food

To review so far, implementing the division of responsibility is the basis for any child and family. Especially if your child has sensory or oral motor issues, more can be done to help them expand their food selection.

It’s important to make any food play or exercise fun and pressure-free. It can help to work with an occupational therapist specializing in feeding or a healthcare professional trained in the Sequential Oral Sensory method (SOS) or food chaining to implement feeding therapy or a food play plan at home (like me!).

In SOS therapy, the child is presented with pieces of food, one at a time, to play with. Sensory properties link all foods, and activities help work them up the "steps to eating." From being present with food to interacting with it, smelling, touching, tasting and eating it. For those over the age of six, I demonstrate the SOS “Food Explorer Program” with my son.

Food-chaining is another way to encourage children to try new food. It takes a favourite and goal food and adds foods in between as a “chain.” All foods are similar because there’s just one sensory property that’s different (like colour, shape or texture). I have a free guide with five food-chaining examples: How to use nuggets and fries to teach your kids to try new foods.

You can start easily at home with many food play activities that aren’t "therapy." Simple, messy play or sensory bins will help your kids.

So, how do you get a picky eater to try new foods?

You don’t have to see your tasty dinner left on the table again. Just remember to offer your child the support he or she needs when they refuse to eat. Here’s a quick summary:

1. Make sure there’s no underlying physical cause for the picky eating.
2. Follow your roles in the division of responsibility and trust your child to follow their role.
3. Add in sensory play and lots of different fun food exposures.

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Jennifer House is a registered dietitian, a mother of three, the author of The Parents’ Guide to Baby-led Weaning, and the founder of First Step Nutrition in Calgary, Alberta.
 
Jen believes raising happy, well-nourished eaters who have a healthy relationship with food doesn't have to be a battle! She specializes in picky eating and helps parents teach their kids to try new foods without yelling, tricking, or bribing.