Money Mama
Jan 20, 2021
I was sitting on the cold marble floor of my Humber Bay condo, trembling with wet hot tears running down my exhausted face.
I heard the doorknob move and as I tried to simultaneously wipe my face and get up at the same time, I simply could not move.
It was my son, He walked in on me.
I wanted to hide, put on my bravest face but I had not an ounce of strength left in me.
His curious 7 years old eyes studied me, I tried to hide my gaze.
“Mama, you are so sad” He whispered.
“No, my love, mama is fine. She’s just having a bad day” A line he heard often, especially that year.
“But Mommy, your soul is very sad. I see it.” As I heard him speak, my soul shook.
He was witnessing my rock bottom,
He saw his mom go from a woman who was driven, enthusiastic, and positive.
To crumbling pieces of that…
You may be wondering how I got to this moment…but the truth is I created my own cage.
I sought love in the wrong hands.
Deep love, the kind I later learned you can only give yourself.
It was 2016, and I had met my soulmate. I was recently divorced from my first husband and was feeling ready to meet the love of my life… But what I met was the biggest lesson of my life.
Desperate for love, I fell fast.
Fell for the words that came out of his mouth and ignored all the red flags…
“We’re all imperfect humans” I would say to myself.
Within 2 months I got pregnant, I hesitated but his excitement for our baby settled my concerns.
My lack of self-love, my deep need to be validated, and postpartum were the perfect concoction for breaking the foundation I once had. I decided to sell my assets to buy a house with him.
I went from making great money to barely 2k a month.
Slowly, I started to depend on him more and more. I would hear him say that I needed to step it up and contribute more.
To the world, I had a perfect life, but behind closed doors, it was a cage.
Now you may be wondering… Why am I sharing all this?
Well, because it took me two years and over 7 attempts to leave him before I was able to actually leave.
I had the keys to my own freedom, but I had bought into his reality… the one where I am hostage to his mind games.
My soul, if you could have seen it… was broken, filled with shame, and without money to fall back on.
My son’s words became the alarm that woke me.
On a cold day of March, I grabbed my 15-month old daughter and my 7 years old son and took off.
It took losing all I believed I wanted and need to be happy, to finally become the woman I am today.
Money Mama was born a fire ignited first, by pain and then by tremendous amounts of self-love, not the kind I could give myself at the beginning. But the kind you learn to receive from those that surround you in your darkest hours.
I began my journey back to myself, a journey I could not do alone. Were it not for the people that surrounded me, nurtured my heart (my bestie Natalia), Strengthen my body and mind (Shout out to my friend and fitness coach Karim and Dr.Erica) and those that saw my talents and gifts so that I could share with you all that I have built today?
In these 2 years I’ve:
- Defeated mental and physical barriers!
- Made that $$$$!
- Got Penthouse views!
- My kids are thriving!
- I have the support of my village!
But the sweetest win of all….
Realizing that all I was seeking was already inside of me, that I did not have to wait for someone else to make all my dreams come true…
That’s why I became Money Mama because I want all women to have the financial tools to do what I did, No matter where they are at!
XO,
Money Mama aka Melanie Rousseau
IG: @moneymamato
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